Too small for too big

photo: Finnish lake in its beauty; the sunset.

Keywords: cross-border cooperation, math, work and Viking Line

Writing the final keywords of the abstract felt like the most pleasant thing I’ve done for a while. Lately, I had been repeating the ‘cross-border cooperation’ (the main subject my work was built on) in writing and in speech more than any other combination of words I know. It has easily pushed the ‘I love you’ off the top spot! I was almost concerned with the way the thesis had invaded my vocabulary and turned it into the EU-related bull. I’m SO DONE with cross-border cooperation! No doubt my thesis partner shares the feeling. However, it seems like my opinion has very little impact on the cruel reality, as cross-border cooperation is going to remain present in my life for the upcoming months, this time in the form of relationship with the one I love.

Little hint of happiness was brought upon me as the result of joining the Viking Line club. Cruising on a ferry from Stockholm felt like a luxurious one-night holiday. The next morning came way too soon, my companion and I, would have both chosen to stay on-board a while longer. It felt like there’s nothing better than sleeping in a big hotel-room-like cabin with a double bed and looking over the sea at breakfast the next morning. It made us both forget our school responsibilities for a moment.

I altered the time zone on my new pink mobile and realized I won’t be changing it back for a while...

The month of May was a rollercoaster ride; screw it, the whole past year had been that! I’ve been shocked by my own ability to survive the impossible – financial time series, regressions and other similar concepts emphasizing the total lack of understanding on my part. And on top of it all, I’m damn proud to say I had finally submitted my Bachelor’s Thesis – the 100-page written entity and a source of the major pain in the ass which had weirdly become pleasant over time. Someone famous once said – if you stick around long enough, people will learn to appreciate you. Seems like the same goes with the pain in the backdoor too.

I got a job. The kind that makes you feel big and small, simultaneously. “BIG” because the job is demanding and designed to integrate all my hypothetical professional skills and “SMALL” because it raises serious doubts in my mind about whether I actually possess those qualities.

Failure is such a motivating factor. Hunting for the right job was exciting, although at times nerve-wracking. It was like gambling – you put in all your stakes and hope to hit the jackpot. Only in case of the job hunt, the failure is the aspect that made me try harder, not the actual jackpot. I mean, I never really expected to get the job!

The race was fun but was I prepared for the happy ending?