Friend today, friend tomorrow

There’s a little back-stabber in all of us. I doubt it’s possible to go through life avoiding back-stabbing and getting back-stabbed. It certainly is an unpleasant thing to do or experience, however for some reason it continues its sweet coexistence among us. Recently, I have experienced something that is in my mind classified as back-stabbing… actually within a year I’ve witnessed about a couple of such cases. I guess that says something about me, judging by the people I get involved with.

But then again, could the back-stabbing be considered less of a terrible thing to do if the back-stabber didn’t realize doing it? I could argue that in many situations this is actually the case. I’ve also heard - “I had no choice”, given as a reason to justify the so called "unintentional back-stabbing". Whatever the truth is, if there even is one, there are always people choosing sides of either the doer or the victim, which leads me to thinking that the verdict is mostly dependant on our personal interpretation. However angry this might make me, I’m willing to agree that an “innocent back-stabber” might not have to be judged as ruthlessly as an intentional one. But how to distinguish the two?

A week ago I received an SMS from a friend telling me there’s going to be our secondary school class reunion this spring. I counted the years that had passed since, it’s been 12 years! Can’t believe time flies this fast… but what’s even more amusing - can’t believe I can’t remember those people! (I don’t really mind not to.) I bet everyone remembers me though - I was the only foreigner in the class, in the school and in the whole damn neighbourhood.

It made me think of the people I do remember - the real friends I have, the ones I’ve known since childhood. Whenever I meet my childhood friends, it seems as if we just spoke yesterday. It’s like nothing ever changes between us regardless of how long we go on without seeing each other. Real friendships make the world a so much better place. It’s heartwarming. Sure, I’ve made friends after high school too and some of them are very dear to me (you know who you are guys!) but somehow the adult life friendships and the childhood ones are not the same. We’ve had conversations about this among friends and we seem to agree - friendships are different once you enter the “adult life”. Makes me wonder, when does the ability to make very close friends end and the ability to be cautious begins?

There is a great Russian saying which my granny never fails to repeat to me: "Ne imei sto rublei a imei sto druzei", roughly translated – “Do not have one hundred dollars but have one hundred friends”. Good thing to remember. Although, mind my poor student’s thinking - hundred dollars wouldn’t hurt either. ;) I guess the point is - friends are a way more valuable investment.

Thinking of my friends, it makes me happy knowing that the back-stabbing was never coming from the people closest to me. I think that also tells something about me, judging by the people I care about.